Ding Dong, the WHAT is dead?!

(WARNING: This is not a happy blog post. i’m pissed off. Very pissed off. Woke up on a cold rainy day and there's no hot water in the geezer pissed off! Grrrrr)

This morning, over my usual giant pink cup of coffee, i made the mistake of clicking on a blog post re-tweated on my flipboard before rubbing the make-up-residue sleep out of my eyes. My punishment was to read yet another rant by some hater that ‘Chick Lit’ is dead. This statement baffles me. i do not understand people who, when they don’t like something, call it dead. Rock is dead; Tell that to Korn, or Steven Tyler who just never says die or Keith Richards who i’m pretty sure never will die. Cassette tapes are dead; Tell that to Nigeria. 

Advertising is dead; Really? Tell that to my Apple MacBook, iPad, iPod and iPhone – all purchased with the sub-conscious burning desire to be as cool and confident and creative as the subliminal messages suggested to me, hell, deeply ingrained into me over all those years of watching Sex and the City. Elvis is dead; (ok, gotta agree with that one…) God is dead; TELL THAT TO MY MOTHER! The Printed Word is dead; Oh just shut the fluff up and go back to your wii or what ever it is you losers do with your time now.

Here’s a lesson in good manners and general socially acceptable and amiable behavior by Cherry Blossom: When you don’t like something, say “This is not to my taste”, not “Chick lit is dead”. You may not enjoy reading it, but you are one little (probably horribly morbid, boring, self obsessed and oh-so-drab) person. There are 7 billion people on this planet, and amongst them, yes, i think its safe to say that there are still chick lit fans who find chick lit to be very much alive. HUGE numbers of chick lit fans in fact. Gaggles and flocks and clusters of droves of schools of chick lit fans. Myself being one of them.

But let me not get ahead of myself here. i do understand where some of the hating is coming from as i too have had the misfortune to read a few of those chick lit books that would put anyone off. Truly awful instances of (and total embarrassments to) my favorite genre. But lets remember that there are many examples in this world of good versions and bad versions of EVERYTHING. You can get a great cup of coffee (VIDA, Nespresso), and you can get something dark and liquidy-like with floating black lumps and a slight scum? round the rim of the mug. You can get Mom’s home roasted chicken with thick steaming gravy and crispy golden potatoes, and you can get a soggy chicken burger with putrid dripping chips at a non-disclosed establishment. There are gorgeous red-heads and, well, the rest of us. You get lovely genuine blondes and real bitches, fabulous brunettes and color-blind, anti-human-hygiene specimens , princes and frogs. And you get good books, and bad books in ALL genre's.

When i say ‘Chick Lit’ and talk about aspiring to write in the genre, i am NOT talking about soppy romance novels. i'm referring to books such as Anne of Green Gables, The Devil Wears Prada, Emma, Twenties Girl, Far From The Madding Crowd and Confessions of a Shopaholic. My definition may not fit in with the usual norm, but when i say Chick Lit, i mean literature that takes a real woman, real life, interesting characters, the ridiculousness of every day that we are on this planet and smooshes it all into a light hearted account that makes you want to laugh, cry, rave about and sometimes throw things. But mostly laugh. 

It’s the book that leaves a character in your heart because you really feel where they were coming from by the end of it, even if you are nothing like them at all, and they actually don’t exist. (Have you ever cried at the end of a book because you realize you are going to miss the fictional character in it? i have.) It’s the book that makes you root for the little people. The one you find yourself snorting out loud to, mortifying yourself, while sitting in public places waiting for modes of transportation. It’s the one that leaves you with a sense of happiness that something in this life turned out well, and general warm fuzzies thanks to all the laughing. And it is the Charles Dickens of genius constructed characterizations – where the situation IS just that darn funny because you KNOW people EXACTLY like that, and secretly laugh at them behind their backs all the time.

 Or maybe its just me.

 So if you don’t like chick lit and one day post on your haters blog about my new book, to you i say: You are simply not my target market. (oh, and do the world a favor, grow up, stop taking yourself so seriously, and at least TRY to get a sense of humor.)

But i guess no one is perfect. i’m a writer after all, and sometimes come hell or high water i simply can’t construct a sentence (or blog post) to say what i am trying to say. Heck, i can’t even spell! (Thank the lucky-Buddha for spellcheck and literary editors!)

But at least i have good manners.

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom

Books and Keys, and the Symphony of Life!

i know i know. i've been bad. i have neglected Cherry Blossom Boutique and i feel suitably ashamed.

i swear i haven't been out shoe shopping! Yes, it’s been a while since i wrote a decent blog post, and i must apologize, but let me please explain. As much as i would like to claim the ‘jamie’ and blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol…that’s not really what happened. Life has been rather much-full of much-ness lately, ALL GOOD! And whereas i am not to be a mother (yet) i do feel as though i have gone through months and months of writing and piano-playing pregnant behavior, waiting, waiting, waiting and then BOOM gone into labor. My creative waters, so to speak, have broken! And now its all happening!

Exciting developments with my novel ‘Something Pink’ have been keeping me up at night. i finally found an editor who i harmonized with immediately via the inter-webs and simply loved when i got to meet her. But before then, weeks were taken up with me stressing, suppressing and distracting myself thanks to the excitement of finding this lovely lady. Then there were more sleepless nights awaiting her arrival back from the UK where she attended the London Book Fair, and then of course the big question ‘WHAT TO WEAR?!?’ to our first official meeting. My first official meeting as an author. My first official meeting regarding the completion and thus starting the process of (hopefully) publishing my first book! And yes, much to poor Husband’s dismay thanks to his subsequent sleepless nights with me tossing and turning, i have been bubbling out of my pink stripey socks for weeks!

i’m exclamation-marking all over the place here!

Of course, all that stress and energy was silly and uncalled for, as editor lady and i met, clicked even more than the mouse on my key-pad, and then she took over the editing process for me. i am now, once again, uber excited for our next meet later this week to discuss her readers report!

!!!

and a few more !!!!!!!! for good measure.

But not only has that been on the go, i have started my second novel and am brimming with the possibilities of the story. i am in the honeymoon phase with all my characters, and we spend hours together every day, albeit in my head, nattering on like old ladies. It’s great fun! And consists of lots of hot cups of tea, which of course, is the stuff of true happiness.

My piano practicing has finally paid off in more ways than expected. My piano teacher, who has also become a wonderful friend over the past year, has asked me to join her music studio as a part time student teacher! This way i get to help with the ADORABLE little-ies while she focuses on the adult students, use my creative tendencies to help make and plan music related games and tools, and of course i get to drink lots of coffee and eat cheese cake with my best friend! And i am sure i will manage to scrounge up some of my old marketing abilities from my former life, dust off the cobwebs, and help out with her business a bit there too. Come check us out sometime at her new gorgeous studio in Town!

Then of course, there was the Hibernation of April, where Husband gave me the Hunger Games book-box set, so naturally i was forced to avoid the world at all costs and read incessantly… 

And as winter is most definitely here to stay, i have been spending a lot of time (when i SHOULD have been writing blog posts) cuddling my cat. Can you blame me?

Oh hell with it, in the interests of full disclosure, and so long as i am confessing here, i have also been spending a bit more than the average amount of time listening to Lana Dal Rey, Carla Bruni, Angus and Julia Stone and, always, Tori...

So there you have it. All my excuses. i promise i'll try not to be so distant in future.

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom

Green Up!

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...

It has come to my attention recently that i am going through a big change. Not ‘THE big change’ just yet of course, but there are definitely suddenly all these things that make me not the girl i once was.

For one, i can’t just stay up all night socializing anymore. For another, i call it 'socializing' and not partying!? WTF? If i say i was out all night, it might not be a blatant lie, but be assured i was still invariably in bed by 1am. And THEN i am exhausted for a few days afterwards no matter how late i slept in the next morning. (Fortunately, Husband share's this bearish hibernation tendency with me, so we are pretty good partners in the waking hours as well as the sleeping...)

2pm you say? Really?

 i can’t seem to listen to just any old (or rather, new) music anymore. There are times when i ACTUALLY TURN OFF the radio because i can’t stand the rubbish coming out of it! (Hello? Mom? Is that you in my head? Come on, own up...) i have been building my classical music collection over the past few months so that i have something more interesting to listen to rather than "i was like baby baby baby, ooh, baby baby baby, and i was like baby baby baby, aaah, baby baby etc etc", or alternatively a 3-chord trashy tune with words that are barely english, going on and on, UGH, about how many chicks some stupid little whiney moron ‘scored’.

Yes YOU Little Wayne. 

i would rather buy home décor magazines than Cosmo. i have changed my "Yes to Tattoo's" to "Er, no." i prefer skirts that go half way down my legs rather than the bum-brushing ‘belts’ i used to wear, and now vehemently discourage my little sister and niece from wearing the horrendous bum-brushes too. ('They know you're a girl, you don't have to prove it to them...' - Modern Family)

Fruitloops and jelly tots are no longer a staple food choice, my car sound system's bass doesn’t need to alter my heart-beat patterns, i like read the news, and costume jewelry - no matter how sparkly, no matter how dangly - is simply no match for my diamond studs which i NEVER take out. (Note, i only wear one earing per ear now, not 3…)

i guess this is all part of growing up. Some would say for the better, some would say i’m just getting OLD. (and to them i say: Have you seen my hello kitty collection?)

But i have to say that the best change thus far has got to be that i don’t seem to kill every green thing i touch anymore. Thankfully so, given my new found passion for organically home grown vegetables. My plants are not only all alive, but they seem to be thriving!

John Lennon is all about the peace and love

i have a ‘peace-in-the-home’ named John Lennon who has been alive for 3 years now. He’s amazing because i once spilled a pot full of boiling pig stock (which i had been brewing all day from pork bones) over him. He definitely got sick for a while, but after all that, he survived and is green once again.

Tao, a yellow tiger Orchid,
is more serious than her sister Tia

Tia has a sprig of fake flowers
...she's that kind of girl

i have 2 orchid’s, Tao and Tia, who are both growing new leaves all the time. They haven’t flowered again since i got them, but they are 1 and 2 years old respectively, and i am told that some orchids don’t flower every year. Still, they are alive and that is all that matters! (their elder sister, Tin, wasn’t so lucky. We lost her in the winter of ‘09)

My vegie garden is going CAPITOL! With a capitol 'S' for Strong that is. With 3 kinds of lettuce in 2 different colours, flat leafed and regular parsley, a celery hybrid, rocket, fennel, coriander, basil, chilies, baby tomatoes, beans, egg plant, mint, spinach and even mustard growing happily for over 3 months now, i feel like a pro! i even have butterflies fluttering around these days :) Big success.

The mini-veggie box that keeps on giving! Leaves for one and all,
winged creatures, crawling bugs and humans alike :)

i was given a gorgeous little indoor lily plant for Christmas and she is doing beautifully, over 2 months later. (i named her Lily too for obvious reasons) My lavender bushes are sprouting all purple and plush, and my jasmine is creeping up her pagoda with sweet smelling tentacles!

And now for the latest additions to the family: A ferny-tree-thingy (not sure what it is exactly…i forgot to look at her label before i cut it off. Oops.)

We haven't named her yet...any suggestions?

A cute cherry-red kitchen windowsill pot with multi-coloured chilies, basil and origanum in it - i'm gona call them 'The Triplets'

The Triplets.

And 5 more orchid plants for the outdoor entertainment deck.

i potted and planted all these new arrivals myself, stones, gravel, potting soil, fertilizer, moss, mulch… the works! They have made it through their first week, and every morning when i do my watering, i am so happy to see that they are still alive. It’s a good way to start the day.

Next stop, i'm thinking Granny's christmas flowers, roses for the front porch, an orange tree and a mushroom log for the wine cellar! Doing my bit to green up my little corner of the planet.

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom

Self Portrait: the things i do when wasting time...

Urgh! Editing my book. Brainity hurt. Grammar fail. Lost in the words. Eyes gone square from staring at the computer screen. Wrists clicking with pre-arthritic spasms! I am supposed to be finishing my edit of said book, but there are moments when i think it will drive me insane before i get there. Usually when i start having full on conversations with the spider hanging from the corner in the bathroom. Thats when i know i need to take a break. So while clicking through reams of 'photo-albums' in the interests of wasting time, i found some pics i took one morning after sleeping with my make up on like a bad bad girl. i was supposed to be finishing writing, but rather loosing my mind and playing with the photo-booth function of the lap top...Yes, i'm not proud, but there it is. And here they are:

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom

For the Love of Music

Recently i was asked to write about my experience as an adult learner for a piano website. This is what i gave them:

“Music…gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.”   - Plato

i love music. Everything from Tchaikovsky to Britney Spears, from Gilbert and Sullivan operetta to traditional Japanese song, from ABBA to childhood recordings of ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’. For as long as i can remember, music has been a constant in my life, and every memory i have is accompanied by some sort of ‘sound track’. But for someone who was so long moved by the sounds of instruments, it took me a really long time to decide to learn to play one myself.

i love the piano in particular and have always wanted to play, ever since i was big enough to reach up and put my fingers on the keys of my mother’s old upright. But alas, my parents moved around a lot while i was growing up, and worked very hard for very little, so it was just not financially or geographically possible for me to have lessons.

So now, all grown up and in my 30’s, i finally decided to take matters into my own hands and find a teacher.

i was a little nervous at first, and didn’t have much hope in finding someone who wouldn’t take one look at my heels and highlights, and laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of a grown woman starting a new hobby plonking out ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’. Also, i had no idea where deciding to venture down this musical path would take me. i wasn’t sure about exams or how long i would want to learn for, but i had a vague and geeky fantasy that i would work my way through till i could at least play ‘Piano Man’ at dinner parties and have a good old fashioned sing-along at the drop of a note. (Even though i am incredibly shy and don’t like to even sing in public). i wasn’t sure how that would go down with piano teachers who were probably used to teaching primary school students with no hang ups or inhibitions, and working with a dry and rigid system.

Fortunately it was quite easy to find the right teacher once i had made the decision to learn. i asked around a bit, Googled and eventually found a few options on Gumtree who offered lessons to adult learners. In the end i chose Toni Crichton because she offered the choice of private lessons or group classes, and also offered contemporary lessons, classical training, or a combination of them both.

i began the tedious scale’ey process of learning to read and play sheet music just over a year ago (starting from grade 1 with all the other 6 year olds!) i am now preparing for Gr 4 and am LOVING every moment of it! But it was a process.

We started with a Grade 1 level book that used original music by Toni, which was great because i didn’t have to feel like too much of a fool stumbling my way through well known nursery rhymes, which would have just put me off. The beginning was very slow and i was acutely aware of the fact that i was basically learning a new language. There were moments when i felt quite embarrassed for not being able to just sit down and produce Beethoven’s 5^th, like i imagined a lot of people my age would, but had to keep reminding myself that they probably had lessons from very young. After a while, it all just started to click into place. Toni taught me special little things that really helped me hit the right notes and train the music into the muscle memory of my fingers. Its like typing. Who these days ever really thinks about where the letters on the keyboard are, or even while sms’ing? We learn through muscle memory and our fingers just do what our brains tell them to do, almost instinctively without having to think about it. Basic, i know, but for an adult learner with a piano and a good ear for music (meaning i can hear every single little mistake i make and it grates me!) it was a revelation!

If there is one thing i can say for sure, Practice makes Perfect. i found that if i practiced once a day even if only for a short while, it would make SUCH a difference to my advancement by the next lesson. And similarly, one hectically busy week where i let the practice slide due to other pressing life matters, i could see and hear the backward slipping in my new skill.

 Soon enough i decided to be brave and enroll for some exams. i was enjoying playing and learning so much, that i decided to go for official grading and help push myself further. Suffice to say, not ever being great under pressure, i was a nervous wreck before my exams! i seized up with panic before my practical exam, made the stupidest mistakes, and while sitting at the piano with the examiner out from England scribbling on his note sheet over at a table in the corner, i actually had a moment where i was staring at the music and the keys and had no clue what i was looking at! When i left the room i realized i was shaking. The theory exam was worse, as i was in a hall filled with all the other students – and i was old enough to be all of their mothers! In fact, as one mother dropped off her son, i noticed her looking at me a bit funny, sitting at my tiny child like desk, pencil and eraser all neatly laid out and ready for me to write the exam. i don’t even want to know what she must have thought of me, or worse still, what all those kids must have thought of me! It was like being a kid again myself, and not in a good way.

 But i ended up getting distinctions for both my practical and theory exams, so all those nerves really were uncalled for. Amazing how many expectations we as adults place on ourselves.

The next step in my development of this musical skill was to help me get over the little problem of performance anxiety i discovered i had (thanks to the almost tearful breakdown after my practical exam). Toni had arranged an end of year concert for all her students and asked me to play a piece along with the others. Ages 6 to 14, and then, oh ya, 32-year-old me! Once again i was nervous as hell, intimidated by my own age, and shook like a leaf, but managed to play my pieces with (almost) no mistakes. It was amazing to see the abilities and unique playing styles of the other students, and i was really impressed with one boy in particular who, even when he made a mistake, didn’t flinch a muscle but barged right on confidently through his piece. His was the best that day, and I realized that in music, much like life, confidence and presentation are all that really matters. That and knowing what you’re doing of course, which means practice, practice, practice!

After the concert a lot of the other students parents asked me about my playing, when i had started and why now. And none of them looked like they were mocking me or looking down on me in any way what so ever. They all seemed really impressed that i was doing it for myself, and encouraged me, rather than sniggering about the 6foot grown-up playing along side little children literally half her size and a third of her age!

i have always regretted not being given the opportunity to learn the piano as a child, but through my experience over the last 14 months, i am starting to think maybe i am at an advantage coming into this so late in my life. i am old enough to appreciate the privilege it is to learn something so beautiful. i can enjoy the process, feel rewarded when i actually play through a whole song, and am so proud of my examination certificates. i relish a personal achievement every time i learn a new scale, start a new song or play a piece i have already learnt by ear. i can savor this thing that is adding so much value to my life, my soul, my culture. 

As Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on”. So my plan is to play on, indefinitely.

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom

Just Let Go for a Happy New Year

Happy New Year, Darlings! Ok, I know its already the 12^th of January, but my new year has only just begun. To my mind, i wanted to finish writing my book first, before i was willing to crack the French champagne, begin the search for the ultimate cute, pink and preferably fluffy daily year planner, and of course put up my intended new years resolution post here… and that i did! Ta tadat da da DAAAA! i finished yesterday. WOOP WOOP! So now i can officially join all those other dedicated novelists and say somewhat obnoxious things like ‘My first book…’ at dinner parties. Or when Husband says why didn't i do this or why don't i do that, i'll say, "Excuse me, i wrote a book!" and he really cant argue with that now can he? J i have been smiling like a goofy Disney character ever since writing the words THE END. J J J

So, first drafts aside (and believe me, i know this is only the beginning… Read EDIT) i have a very exciting new year ahead of me. i made the decision to make ONE new years resolution, and then add a whole bunch of little sub-goals under the same basic heading. And the New Years Resolution IS…drum roll please…

To de-issue my life

De-issue, de-clutter, de-stress and de-everything else that will help me 'Return To A Simpler Way Of Life.' (With, er, a little less Bo-hobo and a little more boho-chick.)

i will divulge further into this resolution in separate blog posts, but for today i am only going to talk about step one: Just Let Go.

i am a fighter. A bit of a fighter princess, but a fighter none the less. When i really believe in something, i will fight to the grave to defend it! This was probably instilled in me by my beloved parents who had my siblings and i protesting with banners outside theaters, picketing politicians private homes, boycotting certain chain stores that sold things ‘we’ didn’t agree with and, well, just generally going about our business of getting into other peoples business with an air of righteous indignation. My mother always said if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything, so we took a stand for everything, strongly and frequently. And all this at the tender age of 12! i do understand the importance of the values they were trying to install in us and i don’t think they were wrong at all, but i think it resulted in me believing that if i feel i am in the right, come hell or high water i won’t tolerate anything different and i won’t ever compromise.

Till i found myself unwilling to back down from, compromise with or tolerate the people i loved the most. Which makes for a very lonely supper time.

i have just recently read a book written by a friend of mine, Warriors Inc by Garth Hobbs, that had a rather interesting character in it. She is a warrior fairy who, when angered, grows in size. It’s quite a cool concept, that the angrier she gets the bigger she gets. Which is very helpful for her of course, being a warrior and all. However, i think i might have been doing the same, only to the people closest to me and who i care the most about. The angrier i allow myself to get about anything from simple little domestics to massively destructive and unfair legislation, the bigger i build this wall around myself. Which is why i have now decided to Just Let Go.

Someone sent me an incredibly racist email. Instead of writing back and starting a fight, i decided to ignore, delete, and Just Let Go. Someone lights up a cigarette in front of me and blows smoke in my general direction. Instead of taking my former position as the President of the Anti Smoking Society, i wave the smoke away and Just Let Go.

This doesn’t mean that i am going to turn into a spineless jellyfish. It just means that i am not going to go around, sword drawn, chopping down fellow humans who have a different way of life to me anymore.

And when i put on my clothes in the morning, look in the mirror and realize i am having a fat day, ugly day, washed out day and bad hair day all in one, i’m going to ignore the mirror, reach for a hat and Just Let Go.

i believe this will result in a much happier life, for me and also for all those around me. Well, lets wait and see.

Love lust and fairy star dust

Cherry Blossom

Pretty Good Year - a Tori Amos tribute (amongst other things)

It's not every girl who can say she has finally realized all her dreams, but this year (concluding the last 3 years of my life), not only did my biggest dreams come true, but they came true in STYLE!

On 21^st March 2011, i got to marry the man of my dreams, my desires, my heart, my soulmate! i got to create a celebration of us in my head and then watch as my fairy-god-planner (aka Design by Marcel) helped me make each and every bridal wish come true. The final outcome was a magical day that just SCREAMED Husband and i, and a Sorta Fairytale that will forever be my happiest moment alive.

"He and i are a pair of suns that are captured, eternally
linked into chasing each others spin"

This year i got to work full time on my first novel, ‘Something Pink’. Writing has been a life long path that unfortunately attracted a few stumbles and glitches along the way. My first book was a scrappy little thing about the sun, moon and stars and the plot ran loosely along the lines of the importance of family and friendship. As i could not actually write properly yet, i needed my mother to help me put it together and to this day i remember the pre-4 year old emotions and excitement when it was finally done, illustrated, written out in full and bound with some knitting wool i found in my grandmothers sewing tin. 

At age 6 or so i wrote my first poem, Snow is Always White, which was about the beauty of snow and my longing to see it in person. (This wish came true too when Husband took me to Japan to experience the best powder snow in the world!) i continued to write essays for school, short stories for myself, songs and poems through my teenage and early adult years, and even some short stories and articles (about home schooling and my year of children’s work in Zambia) that were published in various Christian publications. i tried my hand at journalism, but quickly discovered that i was NOT cut out for reporter style writing like my granny when i started studying through Unisa only to give it up a few months later. But through it all, i have wanted to be an author and write novels. And finally, now i am doing just that! (and THIS close to finishing my first!!!)

i am learning to play the piano. i LOVE the piano and have always wanted to play, ever since i was big enough to reach up and put my fingers on the keys.

"If you need me, me and Neil will be hanging out with
the Dream King"

But alas, as a nr 5 out of 6 kids living in a missionary house hold, it was not financially possible for me to have a piano teacher. Also, we moved around so much, there wasn’t much chance of me putting roots down and getting through the grades with a teacher who could know and mold me. So now, in my 30’s, i finally got me a teacher and have begun the tedious scale’ey process of learning to read and play sheet music (starting from grade 1 with all the other 6 year olds!) i am now in Gr 3 and am LOVING every moment of it! Not to mention that my piano teacher is just the coolest chick alive, and has already become one of my best friends. 

But along with all these wonderful things, piano’s and new friends, destined loves and weddings, writing and snow, i finally got to see Tori Amos LIVE in concert! Right here in Cape Town, South Africa. It dawned on me a few years back that i might need to beg Husband to take me and my best friend to Germany or England to see Tori live, (and was biding my time to find the perfect moment to spring such an outrageous request on him…) but no need anymore! She came to me J

"Like a good book i can't put this day back."

"And if i died today, i'd be a Happy Phantom!"

A bit of history. Tori Amos arrived on my radar sometime around my 18^th year with her flaming red hair and deeply affecting lyrics. She seemed to sing my own thoughts, ones that i was still too secretive and shy to ever share. Her lullaby voice sang me to sleep through my confusing years and her wild words danced around my developing adulthood while I painted my nails and broke up with boys. Her lyrics infected me and i began to think, speak and sing in ‘Tori’isms. And as Brother reflected recently, in my entire first year of Tori, i was like a stuck record where all i could talk about was Tori tori tori tori tori tori!

"All the world just stopped now"

i quickly introduced her music to the most special people in my life (best friend, brother, little sister) and then began to preach the gospel of tori to any and everyone who would listen. i would sing 'Twinkle' and 'Winter' to the children at the home i volunteered at and hummed 'She’s Your Cocaine' while shaving my legs on unbearably hot nights out on the grassy slope in the back yard with a hosepipe. When i had my first kiss at age 19 (i was a VERY late bloomer!) i squeezed my eyes shut and could hear Tori Amos singing in my head. My subsequent first heard-break was laced with Tori and Wine stained tears.

My Northern Lad never did appreciate the
'Tori Red'

My first car, a gorgeous apple green 1969 VW Beetle, was dubbed ‘Tori’ and i placed a photo of her in a fluffy rainbow-coloured puff-frame hanging from the dashboard. My hair went from its natural strawberry blonde colour to varying degree’s of ‘Tori Red’, my first email address began with ‘tori’ and my mix-tapes always consisted of 80% Tori, 20% other stuff. And so, from the tender age of just-out-of-home, Tori Amos became the sound track to my life.

Fortunately, as these teen things do, my poster hanging, letter writing, stalker-fan bordering manner of conducting myself simmered down to a mild back-track in time, and i went on living my own life with my own (almost) natural hair colour. i grew up and out of the juvenile obsessive behavior, but the love and admiration of Tori Amos as an artist and piano player stayed, deepened and blossomed with every new album. She is still my FAVORITE artist, and i will buy every CD/book/DVD i can get my paws on of her music. But i promise not to name my first born ‘Tori’ J (Ok ok i admit it, i named my new piano 'Tori', so there's still a little obsession lurking in me somewhere.)

"Never thought my day would come."

So as you can imagine, after all that, seeing Tori live in concert – being in the same room as her and her piano, feeling the Swirling!!! was one of the VERY’est moments in my life.

My best friend and i got our tickets the second on-line sales opened, waited waited waited, got more and more excited, put on our cutest shoes, and FINALY when the blessed night arrived, off we went, hand in hand, to watch our goddess-like heroin perform. Husband, true to his sweet nature, wanted to come with to experience something he knew would be so special to me WITH me, and we three had a night to remember.

"This is not really, this is, this is, this is not really happening...
YOU BET YOUR LIFE IT IS!"

i was so captivated, so mesmerized and so full of bubbles that i couldn’t possibly have functioned on any other level than ‘All Eyes and Ears’ that night. But fortunately for me, my best friend has an extraordinary brain and managed to map the play-list during the concert:

"She opened with Little Earthquakes, then Icicle, Silent all these years, Consitina, Hey Jupiter, Dragon, Sorta fairytale (very special to me), Bells for her, Mother, Pancake (I felt like I was hearing this for the very first time, incredible) , Me & a gun, I can't see New York and finally closed with Carry, the only song she played that was actually from Night of Hunters. For the encore she played Personal Jesus, Leather, Precious things and Tear in your hand."

Tori Amos is all and MORE than i ever imagined her to be, and i feel so unbelievably lucky to have been there that night. Like being at a heavy hippy concert in the woods where the drum beats right through you, her voice went into my chest, tinkled though my blood and i felt her words take over the palpitations of my heart beat. The sound of that oh-so familiar voice and such beautiful arrangements on the piano was something akin to a spiritual experience. And our Tori sang for us, leading and guiding our womanly souls into the place of Cooling.

"iieee!"

And so as 2011 comes to an end, and i sat holding hands with both my best friend of 25 years on one side and Husband on the other, while witnessing Tori Amos and her piano’s in the flesh, i would have to say, Yea. Its been a Pretty Good Year.

Looks like i’ll be needing a few new stars to wish on for 2012…

Love, lust and fairy-star-dust

Cherry Blossom