Did you see what Miley Cyrus did now? This seems to have been the underlying (or blatantly in-your-face) theme of the internet over the past few weeks. Ever since the VMA awards, Miley has come in like a wrecking ball and commanded attention. In a society that brought us Honey Boo Boo and Kim Kardashian, it is no surprise that naked, lurid behaviour with a few 'f' words thrown in for effect, is one of the best ways to rise to stardom, or simply to get our attention.
Miley's recent acts have sparked off a heated debate of women’s sexuality, their rights in general, and the ongoing argument of slut-shaming. First Sinead O’Connor told Miley that she should not allow herself to be prostituted for the sake of "men making money". Then Amanda Palmer encouraged Miley to own it, and let her freak flag fly. I have since read countless blog posts and articles written by mothers, daughters, struggling musicians and even a few men on the subject, (my favourite of which being this) all talking about the rights a woman has, or doesn't have, to flaunt her own body.
I have to say, I tend to agree and disagree with all of them, from all angles. Yes, we have come a long way from pearls and aprons (the non-Pintrest version), but the world still feels the need to single out female musicians, female fighter pilots, girl gamers, or girl fly-fisher peoples as though they are a separate entity entirely (even I make that mistake). It is a male dominated world, no matter how you look at it. They still make more money for doing the same jobs, they still head up presidencies and they still tell us what to do. Well they can't tell us what to wear. Or can they? (I bet the boys over at Dolce and Gabbana have a few opinions on that matter!)
I think we
have been so busy painting our bare breasts with protests against rape-culture,
and streaking for freedom from men, that we may have forgotten what sexuality
really is. Sex is an act to propagate the species. Our animal urges, if you
will. It all boils down to making more of us, to keep the world populated and
the human race moving forward. It is an 'anti-extinction' clause built into the
core fiber of each and every person on the planet, both male and female,
equally. Each one of us own and have all rights to our own individual sexuality, and have the right to do with (our own sexuality) as we please. In short, sex is completely natural, completely human, and completely necessary.
But is bending over and twerking it
in everyone’s face necessary?
Saying a
woman should use her sensuality to get ahead in the world, seems to me to be on
a par with saying a man should use his muscles and testosterone-laced aggression
to further himself. We can't have our boys taking swords to school to ensure
their teachers give them straight A's, or packing guns in their back pockets to
win the girl over, or discussing business deals over a nice blooddied fight in
a cage - looser dies, winner takes all! No, we have developed as a species and
come a long way from that. We all agree that little Johnny should not punch
Jessica in the face to get the toy he wants away from her just because he can. Then why don’t we
apply that to ourselves too, and say maybe Jessica shouldn't bat her lashes to
get the toy away from Johnny, or even to get Johhny to buy her all the toys?
But then
again, men do use some of that
inner-motivating testosterone to help themselves do better, go further, climb
higher up the corporate ladder. And when done right, it is admirable, and
deserves to be rewarded with a promotion, or closing the deal, or selling the
product he built for millions. Why not? He worked for it. Sometimes the man who
has the guts (which is just ego manifesting itself, if you think about it) to
try a pick-up line, deserves the (willing and able) girl. But it is still so
much more socially acceptable for men to go out there and flex those animal
instincts than it is for women to do the same. And this double standard is the
conundrum we find ourselves in. How can we as women use our sensuality to get
that competitive edge, to Miley it up, to grab the internet by the
sledge-hammer without being labeled a slut?
I don't have
the answers, but I do have this little tidbit passed down from my Granny, the
wisest woman on earth: Everything in
Moderation. Eating a red-velvet cupcake for breakfast is an awesome way to
celebrate ones birthday, but if one had to eat red-velvet all day every day
twenty years in a row, one would soon find one's BMI shooting through
the roof, ones organs will be under massive strain, and one would have an
obesity problem, at the very least, on ones hand . Moderation. A little
bit of make-up to highlight features can be very attractive, but caking the
stuff on so thick that it needs to be scraped off with a spatula is neither
flattering nor comfortable for the skin. Moderation. A glass of wine at the end
of a long day can help take the edge off, but drinking constantly and copiously
will eventually end in vomiting, dehydration, mild concussion and a hangover
from hell. Moderation. It is one thing dressing with a little tease,
but quite another leaving the house like sex on a stick. There is always room
for having a little fun with our sexuality, but nobody wants their daughter’s
Hannah-Montana themed birthday party turning into a mass orgy.
So I think I
will use that wise word from my Granny when it comes to presenting my sexual self to the
world. I'll not let my freak flag fly, but rather keep that flag tucked closely
around me, synched in at the waist, of course, to accentuate my fabulous
covered-up bosoms and CrossFit shaped ass. I'll reveal my sensuality moderato - and I'll leave the tweaking up to Miss Miley.
Love, lust and fairy-star-dust
Cherry Blossom
P.S. Please forgive me for the obvious wrecking-ball and sledge-hammer reference-play; I know it's being done to death right now, but as a writer, I just couldn't help myself.
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